Not A Regular Mom, A Creative Mom: Reclaiming Creative Identity In Motherhood

As a high-functioning, anxiety-ridden, full-time employed, creative entrepreneur, I must say that diving into the world of parenting has been my most challenging and rewarding project yet.

In my past, I never thought I’d be remotely ready or interested in exploring motherhood, but as I matured and became more secure with myself and my relationship with my wonderful partner, that switch flipped for me. I’ve unlocked a whole new box of feelings and ambitions, joys and grievances, highs and lows. But let's be honest, it's also been a journey filled with adjustments, learning, and finding that delicate balance between personal passions and the demands of nurturing a family.

Even though I’m still in the fourth trimester haze with no concept of time or boundaries, I'd like to share some insights and strategies that have helped me navigate these waters so far, hoping to inspire and support fellow mothers in the creative field.

Embrace the New Normal

First and foremost, accepting that your productivity and creative process will change is crucial. This has been easy for me to recognize, as every minute of my day has been accounted for so far, but it’s maybe one of the hardest to accept. The pre-baby days of uninterrupted focus and the luxury of free time are now replaced with a schedule that's completely dictated by my little one. And I know other moms feel the same way. It may seem disheartening at times but embracing this “new normal” means adapting to a new way of working that incorporates your identity as a creative and role as a mom and caretaker.

Find Your Rhythm

One of the first steps to finding balance is to establish a routine that works for you and your family. This might mean setting aside specific times for work when your baby is napping (this when I can squeeze in time to journal or snap a quick self portrait) or after they've gone to bed for for the night (though for me, this is my quality cuddle and TV time for me and my partner). Remember though, consistency is key, but flexibility is equally important. Some days will go as planned, and others will require you to adjust on the fly. If there’s anything I’ve learned so far in my journey, it’s to not be too rigid with anything.

Set Realistic Goals

In the first few weeks after giving birth, my OB (who knew I was a goal-oriented over-achiever) told me that my daily goals should be no more achievable than the following: sleep, shower, poop. I was constantly feeling exhausted and disappointed that I couldn’t get more done as well as channel my emotions into a productive form of art, and these were the key self-care tasks I should focus on as my body healed and I transitioned to this new life. Once some time passed and a routine had been established, I felt comfortable enough within my new reality to embrace some “me-time” in my day, even if it was just a few moments.

Setting realistic, achievable goals can help keep you motivated without the added pressure of being a SuperMom and accomplishing everything at once. Break down larger projects into smaller tasks that can be performed during short bursts of work time. And don’t forget to celebrate these small victories (sleep, shower, poop… all in one day!!); they add up and keep that precious momentum going.

Create a Dedicated Workspace

When we built our nursery, I forfeited my home office, which had been in our one and only guest room. I moved my desk out to a small corner of our dining room, which was functional for my remote job and photo editing even though it lacked privacy.

Having a space dedicated to your work can significantly impact your productivity and creativity. This doesn't have to be an elaborate office setup—a corner of a room (like mine) or a comfy chair and a portable cart that contains all your work essentials can do the trick. The important thing is to have a space that feels good to you and relaxes you enough to focus on work.

Seek Support

Whether it's from your partner, family, friends, or a babysitter, don't hesitate to seek support when you need it. I’ll admit that I’m great at accepting help when it’s offered but truly not the best at asking for it. Then I took some great advice my therapist gave me: I bought a magnetic white board for the fridge and wrote a “To-Do / Ways To Help” list on there for any visitors who wanted to lend a helping hand beyond just holding and admiring my baby.

Delegating household responsibilities and/or childcare, even for just a few hours a week, can provide you with uninterrupted time to focus on yourself and your creative projects.

Stay Connected

Joining communities of like-minded individuals, especially those who are also navigating this fine balancing act, can be incredibly rewarding too.

I recently reconnected with a high school friend who also has an infant and is trying to fit in some creative time for herself. We met for lunch and brought our babies with us (a fun mom and baby excursion for the both of us!), shared stories, and bonded on things we mutually enjoyed. Understanding that both of us likely will not have a ton of free time, it was still so enriching to engage with someone else who was in a similar situation.

This meeting inspired me to seek out local mothers’ groups and join a social app to meet people who were interested in reclaiming their  identities as creatives and moms. Social anxiety aside, connections and communities like these can provide support, understanding, and the opportunity to share resources and advice.

Be Kind to Yourself

This goes without saying, but give yourself some grace. Motherhood is hard and the pressure to “bounce back” is immense. It's important to remember that finding the perfect balance is a myth. There will be days when motherhood takes precedence and others where your creativity flows in bursts or without interruption. Be kind to yourself during this process, as it will evolve while both you and your child grow. Recognize the effort you're putting into both roles and know that it's okay to have a mix of productive days and ones where simply cuddling with your baby is all you can manage.

While the challenges are real, so are the moments of joy and fulfillment that come from pursuing your passion while raising a little human. You’re doing great, Mama. Keep going. 🩷